just the blossoming words of a butterfly learning to use her wings
I feel really really fat at the moment, despite the fact that I lost o.6kg last week. I had my personal progress report meeting with all the official staff of the unit, and they accused me of having gone on a binge because my fat percentage went up to 18.2 from 12.5 in a week. I asked them how was I meant to have gone on a binge when I only eat what they give me, when I have no money what so ever to buy food when Im on a walk, and that WHEN they allow me home, mum prepares all my food for me. it made me feel horrible though because now I just feel like I am binging on all the food that they give me and dont want to eat it. I do feel really fat at the moment, like super fat and super large :( I dont understand why anyone would ever want me to be honest. I dont and wouldnt want me :( when does this recovery get easier?
I am still alive, but we have no internet at the red house (eating disorder unit) so I am not able to really get on here much. recovery is going….. erm… lets not go there.
how are you all doing?